


I tell you his story

by beyond_the_nights_world



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel as dad, Death, F/M, Fluff, Letter, Reader Insert, Sad, teenage reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 14:22:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8105788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beyond_the_nights_world/pseuds/beyond_the_nights_world
Summary: After your mother died, Dean gave you a box with photos and a letter, which explained, who your father was.





	

You felt like trapped inside a bubble. Everything seemed to be far away just like watching a movie. A real bad movie. You didn’t really know, how you got home. You didn’t even know, how you have survived that funeral.

You could remember staring into the fire where the corpus of your mom was burning. Eventually, Dean had said some kind words. Or maybe Sam? You didn’t know. The only thing, which was so real, was the feeling of being alone. Being the last of your family.

When you entered the bunker and stepped down the stairs like being in trance, you felt Deans hand on your back, soothing you calmly

Everything was like a bad dream you couldn’t awake off.

“Y/N you know, if you wanna talk or need anything… we are here… we……!”

It was the voice of Sam, you heard and you just nodded.

“Thank you, but…. well…. I’m in my room.”

You couldn’t stand their gazes so full of pity and worry. They just wanted to help, knowing by themselves how it felt to lose a mother.

But the only wish you had was being alone with your thoughts and your grief.

You slowly moved forward and you were glad no one was following you.

Your room was located at the end of a long hallway. It was small , decorated with posters of your favorite actor, pictures of horses and the skyline of New York. The smell of vanilla was hanging in the air, the perfume your mother had bought you to your 17th birthday a few weeks ago. It had been a wonderful, hilarious day. Everybody was laughing. You have been eating ice cream and burgers and Dean had sing some karaoke. It was one of the days you were as happy, as you could be. Without monsters and demons, without heaven and hell.

Two weeks later, the darkest day of your life happened. Your mom died, killed by a demon.

You flop on your bed, staring at the dark and dusty ceiling of your room, trying to name your complete turmoil. You were sad, so sad and helpless, but you also felt incomplete. Your mother had always been the big part in your life. The one, who had been there for you, who had helped you with everything. But there was one point in her life, that made her heartwarming manner change. Every time you get on to your father, a dark and sad shadow floated over her face and she always found a reason not to talk about him.

You didn’t know who he was, what he have done or if he even was alive.

And now, your mother was gone and you would never get the answers you have been longing for so long.

You didn’t know how long you have been stayed in the room, just staring, thinking, crying, when you heard a knock at the door.

“Y/N can I come in for a minute?”

“Sure”, you answered, knowing Dean would go away until you let him in. The door opened and the hunter slipped into your room, holding something in his hands. He looked sad and tired, first strands of grey traversing the short ash blond hair. You knew him and Sam since you were born and they were like uncles and friends. And now, while he was standing next to your bed, a shoe box in his hand, you realized how time has passed. He wasn’t the young and always straight ahead hunter anymore.

“Your mother told us, to give you this in the case of her death… Well; I thought it won’t come to this.”

His gaze dropped at the box in his hand and after a few seconds, he handed it over to you.

“What is this?”, you asked, a heat rising up inside you.

“I don’t know. But it was very important for your mom and we have to vow by our lives ,that you would get this box.”

He gave you an encouraging smile before he left your room, closing the door silently.

You stare at the box in your hands. It was a made of cardboard, covered with gift wrap. With shaking fingers you opened the cap. A pile of papers, inscribed by the handwriting of your mother lay on top of the insides, covering a bunch of photos.

You recognized Dean and Sam, younger than you have ever known them. Your mother, smiling into the camera, sitting on the table in the library. A picture drew your interest most. It was a picture of a man. Dark tousled hair and a warm, charming smile. You didn’t know him, but you knew his eyes. Big and bright blue. These were the eyes looking at you every time you see yourself in the mirror. It were your eyes.

You felt like dropping dead. This man on the photos…he had to be… no… You shook your head, throwing the photos back into the box.

This was too much, way too much to handle. You have lost your mother, a circumstance you could barely withstand.

You stared at the box as if a monster were inside, ready to attack as soon as you open the cap again.

Why now, why? Why couldn’t she just talk to you? What did he do, that made her speechless and so sad?

You got up, wandering around in your room, your thoughts circling in your head like a carousel.

Answers, you were longing for, lay in front of you in a box of paper card. But it scares you a lot. Revealing the truth could be more hurtful as just let it be covered up.

Your curiosity won.

You sat down on the mattress again, wrapping yourself in a blanket, pulling the box onto your lap.

The pile of paper was a letter, numbered consecutively.

 

_My beloved daughter,_

_this is the moment I was afraid of and I had hoped it never would happen.. Reading these lines means, I have passed. I am so sorry, my love. But I want you to know, I am always with you and I love you so much, my little princess._

_The life of a hunter isn’t persistent. And while I am writing this letter, I´m thinking about how long I might have. Will I see you grow up? Will I see your first boyfriend or girlfriend? Will I see you walking down the aisle? I don’t know._

_Life can end within the next seconds, but as a hunter, the risk of dying before getting old is irrefutable. I knew that, but I choose this way, accepting every risk._

_I am sitting here at the table of the library, watching how your uncle Sam is playing with you. You are laughing, while he is swirling you around and it warms my heart. I hear your voice, your laughter and I have to think about a live, where I am gone and you are on your own. This is hard for me, as it should be for every mom, who is worried about their daughter’s future._

_You may wonder, why I choose to write a letter. Normally, I am the one, who talks about problems and if I´ll get the chance, I will educate you to a girl with the heart on her tongue. I hope, we will be able to talk about every problem._

_Well, there is one thing in life, I don’t know if I can ever talk about. Even writing about it is making me cry._

_You might have already found the photos in the box and you might wonder, who that guy is.I know you’re a smart girl and you will already have made your conclusions._

_The man on the picture is your dad. The man, who gave me the biggest gift of my life. You, my daughter._

_I´ve never talked about him, never mentioned him, because it hurts so much and it will hurt for the rest of my life. But you have the right to know, where you are coming from. And it lie at my heart that you know, who your dad was. The man I loved so much._

_I will tell you the story about him. I will tell you everything._

You lowered the letter your mom had written to you. This bunch would reveal the secret of your heritage. The secret of the man you never met. You grabbed one of the pictures out of the box. Your mom and your dad unified on one picture. They were smiling, heads together. Fingers intertwined. You really had his eyes.

_To tell you the whole story, I have to go back to the beginning. You know our life is full of monsters and supernatural creatures. There are demons, witches and so many more. Normally you would run, if you see a creature like a Vampire or a werewolf. But I stayed and my vocation was to fight. It also was the vocation of my parents, my grandma and grandpa… of my entire family. We were hunters and we always have been. Parts of our family were hunting in the Middle Age in Transylvania…_

_But I am going off at a tangent._

_I was seventeen, when I first met Sam and Dean at the Roadhouse. The place all hunters find a home for a few days. They were on the scout, trying to find their father. We spend a few days together with Ellen, talking about our lives as hunters, about our wishes and fears. By this time, I had lost my family because of demons and being at the Roadhouse was a kind of healing._

_I went on my own. Fighting monsters, training my skills, becoming the hunter, I am now. Now and then, I met Dean and Sam, working on a few cases together, but it was just a loose friendship._

_Life changed at that day, I met the boys on a case._

_This was the day I met him. Castiel._

_I first saw him in the Bunker, standing near the war table. He was dressed in a dirty trench coat. He was good looking, very handsome. Dark tousled hair, a winning smile and eyes as blue as the heaven on a warm summers day._

_It wasn’t his handsome appearance, which cast a spell over me. It was his Aura. I hope, I will find a way to describe him later in this letter , but for now, I am totally out of words, so I just go on telling you his story._

_Your father was an angel. A real angel of the Lord._

_He was the one, who raised Dean out of hell. He was a warrior in the legions of God and as I could say, he was God’s favorite._

_Until the day we met, I never thought about the existence of angels. I believed in monsters and demons but – although it was so obvious – I never believed in angels or even in God himself._

_I was so wrong… so deeply wrong._

_Castiel was an angel with might and power you can’t imagine. His true form was as big as the Empire State Building, pure blue-shining energy. So he had chosen a vessel to interact with us. The vessel is the one you see on the picture. He was called Jimmy Novak and he gave his body and, later on, his soul to be the vessel for Castiel._

_I never saw Jimmy Novak, when I looked at him. For me, the man I met, with all the questions and doubts, with all the quirks and tangs… it always was just Cas._

_You know, honey. Life changes everything. You are, what you are, because of the decisions you made and because of the lessons you learned. Cas appeared on earth because of a reason. God had send his favorite angel.It would be too much to explain, why he was here and what he had to do. It is of no importance._

_Life on earth changed him._

_At the beginning, he was Castiel. An Angel with less emotion, focused on his mission. A friend of mine once said: “Too much heart was always Castiel’s problem.”Let me say… to be kind and to have a heart isn’t a problem, but it leads to new ways._

_Castiel turned his back on heaven and his heart to us. Castiel changed into Cas_

_I stayed at the Bunker, stayed with the boys, with him._

_First, it wasn’t love, I think. It was something like a deep friendship based on trust._

_I helped him establishing himself on earth. Helped him to be human, to understand humanity.If you could have seen, how fast he learned. Sometimes, he was like a child inhaling all the new things he discovered._

_And sometimes, he was the warrior again, killing demons so mighty and powerful._

_It wasn’t easy. And our life was dangerous. Heaven hated Cas for decisions, that went wrong. He was outcast, hunted and he felt more and more useless, as if he had failed. And he had lost his grace. The grace is the power of any angel, the force inside, which made them so powerful. Cas was betrayed and without his grace, he was human._

_It might sound wrong._

_But the moment he was standing in the bunker, dressed with a normal shirt and Jeans, messy hair, two-day-old beard, I fall for him… totally._

_This was the moment, when friendship changed into love._

_You are still playing with your uncle Sam and I´m watching you, seeing him. You have the same eyes, the same smile. You are tilting your head to one side, when you are curious, like he did. You are so much him, that it is sometimes hard._

_We spend two years together. Years full of emotion and love. It sound so cheesy, like a story out of a fairy-tale. But with him, I felt safe, loved… complete. Short after he became human, he got his grace back. But it was never the same._

_And then, there was the fight of fights. An evil force was send to the world, just known as the darkness._

_We fought her and we won…but the prize was high. Cas died._

_I begged to God to restore him again, as he did so many times before. Anyway, he still was his favorite. But God refused._

_The only thing he could do, was giving us… one last day._

_On that last day, we created you, my love._

_And when the night was over, at the beginning of a beautiful summer day , your father died in my arms, leaving me behind._

_I thought, I would die too. There was nothing left in my life, what could held me up until I realized I was pregnant._

_I hope, you understand why it is so hard for me to talk about him. He was the love of my life._

_You were born on a beautiful day. The sun was shining and the heaven was blue. And God made one last present. After your birth, he removed every angelic component out of your body, so you could grew up, as a normal human being._

_I am so sorry, my love, to tell you all this. I can imagine you are overwhelmed and I wish I could spare you this sorrow._

_Oh, if he just could have known you! He would be so proud of you and you would be his little princess. Your dad would have protected and loved you from the bottom of his heart._

_I love you, honey. I always have and I always will. I know there is heaven and I know, we, Cas and I, will watch from up above, so proud that you are our wonderful daughter._

_Kiss you goodbye, honey._

_Mom_

 

Tears were dwelling out of your eyes, dropping onto the paper. You didn’t care, if your dad had been an angel…

The last sentences of the letter made you cry. He would have been proud of you, would have loved you, like he loved your mom.

You thought, you would be angry, and a few times you just wanted to throw the pieces away. It was not fair! Why did she fall in love with an angel? Why? Why did everything in this family must have been so complicated? But you went on reading and something happened. The paper felt warm, radiating the love out of the words written on it. You felt their love surrounding you were relieved. You always thought your dad had left the family, hurt your mother, being a kind of a dick. But your mother didn’t talk about it , because every word hurt so much and would crack her heart again and again.

 

You folded the letter and put it back into the box. Then you took one of the pictures, got up and headed to the door. With slow steps you moved forward, your gaze resting on the encouraging smile of your dad.

“Dean… Sam…”, you said, as you entered the library, seeing them sitting at the table.

“Y/N?”

Tears were dwelling out of your eyes, but a smile ghosted over your face.

“Tell me the story about my father. Tell me about Cas.”


End file.
